Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma VI: An End.

Hi everyone,

Its been a month since my last post, and everyone knows the reason: finals. That slow build up to the most wonderful time of the year. It's rush, rush, rush, to get past that final hurdle; the studying increases, the sleep decreases, the tensions rise, and the connections suddenly fall through as everything gives way to the worship of the almighty textbook.

And then it's over.

Just like that, after all the weeks, the year is over. I realize this isn't groundbreaking, yes I've known that the year would be over eventually, but now? Really? College is half over? I'm halfway done? Real life what?

Well it was bound to happen. I wish I could say I was ecstatic to be done with this decidedly rough year, but I'm not really. For all my complaining, and yes I still maintain that it was deserved, this year was special. Friendships grew stronger, my life seems to have found a path to follow. I'm more aware of myself, and for that I'm glad. But I'm sad to see it go, I'll miss everyone. Being Buddhist doesn't mean happy-fun-time all the time. Sadness comes, we sit with it, live with it, eat with it, and then we let it go. And if it comes back again, we do it again.

That being said, I'm leaving for Africa in just over two weeks to spend a month in Madagascar. I'll be working with several other students from JMU and App State to better understand conservation and alternative agricultural techniques in Madagascar. I could go on about it, but I suggest you look up information about the country yourself.

That's another step, it's another moment. My director for the trip said that we become more ourselves when we aren't connected to technology. I will have electricity for about an hour a day, so guess what? No internet, no phone, no nothing. And for that I'm glad. While I'll miss talking to everyone, sometimes it's good to just let it go.

But anyways, I'll leave now. Sad? Yes. Nervous? Yes. Excited? Yes. Ready for life to meet me? You betcha.

Be Well.

Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma: V - Peace in the Chaos

I'd like to pick this series back up, seems applicable to do so now.

Just a few short words. I spent the past 30 minutes drinking a cup of green tea I made, staring out the window, doing nothing. That being said, today has been one of the busiest days of my life. I have a lab in just over an hour that will run late into the night and I have to grab dinner beforehand. Running around, working, studying, group meetings, failed meetings, dropped books, food-stained pants, gym, chaos. Were do we find ourselves? Well, right here. Amidst every single hectic bit of it.

College is about coming into our own being, at least it should be. Finding ourselves maybe, clarifying our lives possibly, at least some bit of self-discovery. For some, this comes down to a higher alcohol tolerance. For others, an awakening to the vastness of the world. And for others still, a crisis. Suddenly the world just became much bigger and in much more turmoil from the night before. Revolution, upheaval, war, famine, disasters. Where do we find ourselves? Right here.

I understand that there is strife in the world, and I want to see it first-hand. But for America? I hope we pull ourselves out of this hole we've put ourselves in. But if we don't? The what-if's abound. Personally, I'm tired of worrying about it. If the world stays together, I wake up each morning and make some tea. If the world falls apart, I still wake up each morning. And even if I don't get my tea, that's ok, I still have the view from my window, wherever it may be.

I sincerely wish you all well, and prescribe 10 minutes of window staring, regardless of your view, each busy day you have. Just enjoy the scenery.

Be Well.

Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma: IV - Great Expectations

I expect to graduate college. It's a pretty solid expectation, what with my past academic history, this and that, all adding up to a pretty good idea that I will, indeed someday graduate college.

I expect to stay in my current relationship. We're both happy, yes the distance is hard and it does weigh on me more now and then but really I am very happy.

I expect to wake up tomorrow. I'm in good health, I eat well, exercise frequently, there's no reason why I shouldn't be alive and in good health tomorrow.

All expectations, all daydreams built upon the past and present. Really, despite our GREATEST expectations, life does not always work out in this way. And the second it doesn't, we have a conniption. Thrashing about, screaming "WHY WHY WHY?!?! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!" Well, true! It wasn't SUPPOSED to be anyway, it just happens to be that way now.

So what can we do?

Study for our tests, say goodnight to our loved ones, prepare for tomorrow!

"Do what you can, change what can be changed, and let go of the rest." It's all you can do.

May we all be at ease with life's ups and downs,

Taylor

Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma: I

Blogs are pretentious; everyone gets a soapbox and everyone wants theirs to be important. Well when we all have a soapbox we're all just standing on level ground again, aren't we? Blogs are ESPECIALLY pretentious when they're just a bunch of random musings by a person with no particular aim or purpose (like this one). So! I'm going to try to be just a bit less pretentious in the further. Duh duh duh duhhhhhhh! A series!

Before my freshman year in college last summer I started to keep track of college life through a Buddhist lens. Well it failed, I was way to busy drinking and being stupid in general to even consider anything else much less a journal. To make a long story short, I got off the crazy train and started being more responsible with myself. No drinking (hate the taste anyway), a reestablished relationship with my girlfriend (almost two years, put that in your pipe), and a generally more conscientious attitude towards others. And so here I am, at it again.

My history with Buddhism in 60 seconds: Raised nonreligious minus the trips to church on Christmas, fast forward 17 years and I start questioning life and what I believe in. Much reading and learning on different faiths. I receive a copy of The Dhammapada for Christmas and I'm hooked. Read read read read! Find a center 15 minutes away, Tibetan in the Drikung Kagyu lineage. Love it, the sounds, the smells, the people. I take refuge 2 weeks after visiting for the first time! VIOLA A BUDDHIST IS MADE. I read everything I can, go to all the ceremonies, learn all the mantras and mudras, take empowerments from anyone I can. And, like all things, I overload. Too much pressure, expectations, guilt, this that and the other. I become more of a recluse than a human, not wanting to show too much negative emotion because of the Buddha Ideal, perfectly calm and blissed out (more on this and why it was so damn wrong soon). Emotional turmoil. I visit a Zen center and feel like I'm finally walking home. It makes sense, I love the poetry and the aesthetics. No voodoo, no superstition, just you and a cushion. Currently in constant contact with two Soto Zen teachers who seem to think I'm ok at what I do (pffffft, too kind). I sit everyday, regardless of where I am or how I'm feeling.

So there you have it. A bit of me. I'm going to try to make this relevant. Experiences, thoughts, all less ranting than before. Maybe you'll get something out of it!

Gasshoooooooooooo ( a bow) Hope to see you soon