Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma: III - Stepping Off Your High Horse

Somedays I am really goddamn arrogant about being Buddhist. I feel so high and mighty, so much more moral than the rest of the world. Somehow I "get it" and others don't; even other Buddhists. My meditation is better, more important, somehow more complete than others. Not to mention what I do is FAR more important than what other people do, their feelings, their wants and needs.

Then I get the solid kick in the head that I need. A few examples about getting off that high horse we call "Buddhism". My new job at school is in the Biology Department working in the genetics lab. I work with fruit flies and not much else. Feeding, transferring, and, oh yeah, freezing them. Hypocritical? Yes. The whole "non-violence" thing really does not exempt freezing insects. A life is a life. But, it is part of my job. I have wracked my brain trying to find a way around this, but it is not like being vegetarian, I can stop another cow from being bred to feed me, but these little guys die either way, for lack of food, or because their containers get too disgusting to support life. So, what do I do? I recite a poem I wrote for them, and I freeze them with several bows toward their final resting place. There isn't much more to do. Making someone else do it would be to imply that I somehow holier than them. "Oh, really? Sorry, you'll have to do that part of my job, I'm better than that." Truth is, that's bull. If you eat, you kill things. If you drive, you kill things. I would rather take this responsibility and have the opportunity to show these guys/gals some respect before their inevitable demise than to have to make someone else do it. I'll take the negative karma, not to be self-rightous or Bodhisattvic, but because it is the right thing to do. Buddhist vets still have to put down animals, this Buddhist lab assistant still has to freeze flies:

Freezing The Flies

I vow with all beings

To respect and preserve the life

Of all, great and small

Second example: I live with someone who is decidedly not Buddhist. No problem; I like the guy. Thing is, I have to be mutually respectful of our space. When he's sleeping, I can't go and chant the heart sutra as I normally do, or really do kinhin (walking meditation) between zazen, it would wake him up. I used to think that my meditation was somehow more important than whatever anyone else was doing. Once again, bull. I always sit, everyday, but I make sure that my sitting does not disturb others. Zazen isn't about proclaiming to the world " I AM BUDDHIST HEAR ME ROAR!", if anything it may be more about becoming more like a chair in a room. Something that is just there, doing its (no)thing. I wanted to sit a 4-hour retreat today, with the chanting, walking, bells, etc... but he has somewhat of a concussion. Point is: don't be a dick because you think you're somehow better than the people you are with. Exchange the position and see if you would want someone making a silent ruckus while you were sleeping. It helps to take a walk in another pair of shoes now and then.

I really wish that I could slap this across my face so I would realize it each morning. Another day, another day.

Many Bows, be well.