Buddhas and Beer, College and Karma: I

Blogs are pretentious; everyone gets a soapbox and everyone wants theirs to be important. Well when we all have a soapbox we're all just standing on level ground again, aren't we? Blogs are ESPECIALLY pretentious when they're just a bunch of random musings by a person with no particular aim or purpose (like this one). So! I'm going to try to be just a bit less pretentious in the further. Duh duh duh duhhhhhhh! A series!

Before my freshman year in college last summer I started to keep track of college life through a Buddhist lens. Well it failed, I was way to busy drinking and being stupid in general to even consider anything else much less a journal. To make a long story short, I got off the crazy train and started being more responsible with myself. No drinking (hate the taste anyway), a reestablished relationship with my girlfriend (almost two years, put that in your pipe), and a generally more conscientious attitude towards others. And so here I am, at it again.

My history with Buddhism in 60 seconds: Raised nonreligious minus the trips to church on Christmas, fast forward 17 years and I start questioning life and what I believe in. Much reading and learning on different faiths. I receive a copy of The Dhammapada for Christmas and I'm hooked. Read read read read! Find a center 15 minutes away, Tibetan in the Drikung Kagyu lineage. Love it, the sounds, the smells, the people. I take refuge 2 weeks after visiting for the first time! VIOLA A BUDDHIST IS MADE. I read everything I can, go to all the ceremonies, learn all the mantras and mudras, take empowerments from anyone I can. And, like all things, I overload. Too much pressure, expectations, guilt, this that and the other. I become more of a recluse than a human, not wanting to show too much negative emotion because of the Buddha Ideal, perfectly calm and blissed out (more on this and why it was so damn wrong soon). Emotional turmoil. I visit a Zen center and feel like I'm finally walking home. It makes sense, I love the poetry and the aesthetics. No voodoo, no superstition, just you and a cushion. Currently in constant contact with two Soto Zen teachers who seem to think I'm ok at what I do (pffffft, too kind). I sit everyday, regardless of where I am or how I'm feeling.

So there you have it. A bit of me. I'm going to try to make this relevant. Experiences, thoughts, all less ranting than before. Maybe you'll get something out of it!

Gasshoooooooooooo ( a bow) Hope to see you soon